Paris Hilton is going to jail. There aren't words to describe my elation. The judge who did this is of course known for saving children from drowning, and keeping damaged planes aloft simply by standing under them and letting the waves of goodness emitting from him lift them.
I wrote him a poem:
"You are the greatest judge ever, Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer.
Awesome in your wisdom and might.
Awesomer than anyone.
May you be the judge to all celebrity trials!
If you need I have a list of them you can start with..."
Even CNN got into it...Here are the story highlights:
• She wanted to continue to drive regardless, judge says (because she was a conceited ass)
• Publicist testifies he told heiress it was OK to drive (because he was a lying ass)
• Mother calls sentence "a joke"; lawyer calls it "ludicrous"; public calls it "AWESOME!"
• Probation stemmed from
alcohol-related traffic violation being brought up by parents who are complete and utter asses to believe you are better than everyone because you got your skank ass screwed on a poorly made video tape that was promptly distributed to half the world.
Ok, so that might have been edited a wee bit by someone...
In any case the world has been kicked slightly back into a karmic balance by Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer.
Have I mentioned he is awesome?
Extended proof of why Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer should run for President:
"She will not be allowed any work release, furloughs, use of an alternative jail or electronic monitoring in lieu of jail."
My only worry becomes she will use jail to create a lesbian version of her tape and become even famouser and famouser...maybe the judge should have had her shot.
Wish it told me which one I missed...
You selected the correct plural form 91% of the time.
|Not bad! Not bad at all. You must have answered the vast majority correctly and probably studied Latin and/or Greek at school, college or university. Consider yourself something of an authority on the correct word forms but don't forget to check every now and then ;¬) Of course, it is possible you just Googled it all... in which case, well done! It shows initiative. Who said "Cheats never prosper" eh? :¬) |
|My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:|
||You scored higher than 99% on correct plurals|
I am curious. I have heard this mentioned before by folks (I know I have cause I wouldn't have come up with the idea on my own), but what do you think about people on government assistance being required to undergo temporary chemical sterilization to qualify for the benefits? In other words, you go monthly to get the check, and you get a shot of Depo at the same time (or whatever version there is for males if there is one).
OK, theres lots of noise being blown about regarding Fidel Castro. Really my main reason for wishing he would move on is so I can try the beaches in Cuba. I wasn't around when Bay of Pigs happened and I never duck and covered for the Cuban Missile Crisis. So I really don't have a dog in this race. But this gem of reporting from the BBC rocks! Stolen from the WSJ opinion page...
"Last Monday the BBC published a puff piece on Cuba's dictator titled "Fidel: The World Icon." Here's how it starts:
Cuba's President Fidel Castro--the world's longest-serving leader--turns 80 on 13 August. This week, we will be assessing his political life and his impact on the Caribbean island.
The world's longest-serving leader? Castro seized power in January 1959, which certainly puts him at the top of the list. But we can think of one head of state who's been in office since 1952, and it's one the BBC should have heard of: Queen Elizabeth II."
|» I really hope Cynthia McKinney doesn't see this...|
Yes, I know its fake before you deluge me with links to Snopes.com...but I don't think its that far off...|
AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT - CONGRESSIONAL ACT 2006
WASHINGTON , DC (AP) - Congress is considering sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.
"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing."
The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability.
Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%) The DMV also has a great record of hiring Persons of Inability. (63%)
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.
Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?"
"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable job skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Said Senator Ted Kennedy, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and also find a place for all illegal aliens no matter how useless they may be."
|» Vote for Pedro!|
It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade. |
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said, 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'?"
Again, no response except from Pedro: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do!"
She heard a loud whisper from the back of the classroom: "Screw the Mexicans!"
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Pedro put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."
At that point, another student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Pedro answered, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Another student yelled, "You're INCREDIBLE!"
Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now, with almost hysterical, the teacher said, "You little punk ... if you say anything else, I'll kill you!"
Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."
The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, "Oh crap, we're in BIG trouble now!"
Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."
Finally someone throws an eraser at Pedro and another student shouts "Duck"!
Teacher, just waking, asked "Who said that?"
Pedro answered: "Dick Cheney, 2006!"
|» Proof that some people should leave home and get jobs|
This lady had WAY to much time on her hands. And before you ask, yes...this is a CandyLand board game made out of bajillions of little novelty beads...|